I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Balls

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops