Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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