Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops