Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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