- Anti Joke

When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

Santa Clogged my toliet

I met a man today. His name was John.

Satan called. I put him on hold.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: Gurgle spits ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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