A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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gays

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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