A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

i have aids and a chode

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

DERP

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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