What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

GRAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops