Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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