- Anti Joke

What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

What's the difference between a duck?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

Jake. Walsh.

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

What do black men do in the South? Hang around

You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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