WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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your mum

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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Hello penis

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An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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