My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

What's better than a stick? A stone

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

The Game.

What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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