What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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A chicken crossed the road.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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