How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Steven hawkings shook my hand

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,142

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

John Cena

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops