If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

thumb_up thumb_down

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops