How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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8=>

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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