A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

Knock knock. Who's there? Steve Jensen. Oh hi Steve, come in.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

A black man without problems.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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