What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

agp

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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