Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A black man without problems.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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