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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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