Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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dead dibbs

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops