Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Cancer

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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