F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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your father died

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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