Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Your Mother

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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