3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a white duck? A quacker

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Gadaffi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

women leaving the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down +6

its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops