How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

thumb_up thumb_down -11

26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what is the awesomest of them all? me

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +2

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops