why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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what do you call a black guy african american

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What is the difference between a duck?

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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