I am quite mature.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Women's rights

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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