So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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69

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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