An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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