How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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( . Y . )

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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WNBA

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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