Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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