“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Whats 0+0 0

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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more chocolate?

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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