Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Haha pizza

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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