What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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turns out hitler was right... the jews are the cause of the problems in the world

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Women's rights

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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