why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

smug face >:}

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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