Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops