What's worse than eating cows. Death

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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