The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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Woman rights.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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