What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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