jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

Women's rights.

Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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