Smoke weed till i die nigga

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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