Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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126

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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