Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Your mom.

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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126

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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