roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops