What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dislike this

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops