what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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Chrissy is funny.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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