9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Google Doodles

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Jake Bowar

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Help I'm being raped!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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