What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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salad days!

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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