What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +225

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -24

1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops