How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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