What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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brandon ya twwat

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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q

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops