Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What's the new green? Green

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops