What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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